Chapter 6: A Killing Joke
© Eldric 2014
The North Atlantic Ocean, above Paradise Island
To a casual observer, Ellen Starr would have appeared to float above the empty Atlantic Ocean, gazing downward into the waters. In truth, she aimed the full force of her telescopic and X-Ray vision through the mystic shields that blanketed the hidden Paradise Island below. Mary Marvel had flown through those very shields to scout the Island to locate Mercy Graves and the other Amazons. Ellen waited impatiently for her return.
“…I told Mary to report back in fifteen minutes, or I would come looking for her,” Ellen spoke over her comms to Lex and the Batman. Although they could not see her, Ellen’s audio signal still came through, even if just barely. “This close, I can track Mary even if I can’t see much of the Island itself. I have better luck with lead; at least lead I can hear through.”
“Standard procedure,” she heard the Batman’s voice, “this way we know if something has gone wrong. And Mary Marvel will follow that protocol.”
“Excellent,” Lex Luthor’s voice replied without emotion.
“I can see her,” Ellen exclaimed, “but it is a bit of a strain. Keeping my distance for now.”
“Can you see anything else?” Bruce asked.
“Bits of Greek Architecture,” she replied, “and something ominous that I really can’t explain.”
RISING STARR
“Here she comes,” Ellen called as Mary Marvel emerged from the island’s shields with a look of sadness and dissatisfaction on her face. Mary flew towards Ellen, stopping just in front of her.
“What a waste,” Mary remarked. “They must have really been something in their day. But there isn’t much left. Not any more.”
Ellen drew in a sharp breath, shaking her head sadly.
“Any signs of life?”
“I think so,” Mary replied, pointing downward. “Signs of a fresh fire…someone wasn’t expecting us, but knew how to hide. If you want to follow up, I’ll stay here.”
Ellen nodded.
“If your brother is available to spell you, you’re welcome to join me. If he can bring Spider-Girl, I could use a street fighter’s insights. ”
“Spidey sense wouldn’t hurt, either.”
“Nope.”
RISING STARR
Ruins…what had once been a proud civilization stood no more. The Zoners had found the island and a small contingent of their deadliest had made quick work of it. Faora had not been involved; her fellow Zoners would not have trusted her to attack an Island with no men. That had left Ellen with another information gap…forcing her to find the Island on her own.
As she scanned, Ellen noted that there were no bodies left unburied. With her x-ray vision she was able to spot numerous graves. Some one had buried the dead and the age of the graves could be measured in years, not decades.
Ellen flew towards a structure that looked like it sheltered the Amazon’s purple healing ray. It looked inoperable, but a closer examination, utilizing X-Ray and microscopic vision, revealed jury-rigged circuits…someone had made use of it. Drops of dried blood had splattered against the console: blood that was not strictly human. Partly something else? Cloning? Based on what?
She felt watched, a feeling that did not surprise her; she was frequently under observation. Still, she felt that someone, something, was taking her measure…again.
She closed her eyes, listening and taking in the odors of the island. She smelled shock, fear, determination. Hearing more than one heartbeat, she scanned towards the source.
Mystic shielding. It helped until the Zoners found the place but it wasn’t enough to protect the Amazon Nation. But maybe one or two? Or three? Who weren’t here during the attack?
“Mercy Graves,” Ellen fired her X-Ray and Telescopic vision towards the heartbeat, “there you are…” Ellen had spotted Mercy running through a cave with two young women in tow. Was one of them Lanie Kent? Too young? Probably so, but maybe not. The other girl was a young blonde with some resemblance to the first, but not too much. The surviving clones from LexCorp? Ellen grew more certain by the moment.
RISING STARR
“We’ve seen the scout fly across the island,” Mercy explained to the two young women who accompanied her into the caverns under the island. “I don’t know who they are, but we must prepare for the worst.”
“Mother,” the blonde girl protested, “you’ve never explained what’s down in the caverns.”
“A gateway to the enemies of the gods,” Mercy assured them. She carried swords in both her hands as she hurried. “The Amazons were charged with defending a Hellmouth, an entry way to the darkest of dimensions, as part of our original punishment by the gods. The Phantom Zone Prisoners did not realize its importance, or I am sure they would have tried to open it. We cannot let that happen. The mortal world would not survive its opening.”
“I can’t believe you haven’t told us this before now,” the brunette girl complained. “We should have had time to prepare.”
“Undoubtedly,” Mercy brushed off the comment as she led them farther into the caverns. “But we were sworn not to reveal its existence, except in the direst of circumstances.”
The girls each carried a sword, along with a shield. Neither girl wore the traditional Amazon bracelets, which did not surprise Ellen. She watched as the clones picked up Mercy, accelerating their pace.
Entering the chamber, the three ran towards the door, positioning themselves against it and facing the cavern, with Mercy taking point. She glared at the entrance, daring their unseen assailants to enter. “Nothing must pass.”
Then the three women felt a burst of wind enter the cavern. Startled, the women gazed around the cavern until the brunette clone glanced upwards, spotting Ellen floating far above them.
“Ummm…Mom,” the brunette interrupted, pointing towards Ellen. “I’m not sure, but isn’t that Superman’s symbol?”
RISING STARR
Project Infinity Satellite
Lex Luthor steeled himself for the moment he had anticipated and feared since Ellen had located the Island: facing Mercy Graves. He entered the satellite conference room that had been made available to him; Mercy had arrived first. As he entered, they attempted to make small talk, but the emotions were too strong and old wounds had been ripped open anew.
“What the hell was I supposed to do?” Mercy Graves rebuffed Lex. “I had enough power for one spell back to the island…an emergency escape. It was a spell that would only work if my life was about to end. It only worked because I believed the Zoners were going to kill us all…they had already killed Lex Jr.”
“So you let the falling ceiling cover your escape,” Lex replied calmly, without obvious emotion. “And your spell left after-images, so the Zoners wouldn’t know what happened…they saw crushed bodies…which never made sense to me. A falling ceiling could have killed you…might have killed Alexis at that age…but I was quite surprised that it could have killed Lexie so easily.” He gazed at her with an expectant, irritated expression, suppressing a violent rage. “Looking back, I had allowed my emotions to cloud my reasoning. I should have realized that I had been played.” He nodded his head. “Having what the Amazon Nation treasured, you left without a backwards glance, never to return. Brilliant.”
“Oh no, you don’t,” Mercy regarded Lex with growing anger. “Once the Zoners attacked, I lost what little contact I had with Paradise Island. My routes home dried up and I still had my original orders to continue our work. I could have tried wind-gliding, I suppose, but I would have starved to death long before I got home, even if I could have found the island. So I consoled myself by doing what I thought was best for the survival of Humankind.”
“Air transit was still possible,” Lex’s eyes narrowed. “Who would have stopped you?”
“I’m not a pilot,” Mercy retorted angrily, “it would have taken me a long time to learn how to fly a plane. And once the children were created, I had no appetite to leave. Clones or not, those were children I had raised. I wasn’t going to just leave them and let them believe I didn’t put them first!”
“You’re at least a couple of thousand years old,” Lex accused. “These are the first children you’ve ever had a hand in raising?”
“I couldn’t save our son,” Mercy answered coolly, “and I will live with that for the rest of my life…just like I will live with being the last surviving Amazon. But I will not apologize for saving our daughters. Had I run off and left them, it would be different. I would be no better than you.”
Lex gazed at her with interest, a woman whose lifetime had run into the millennia and would likely run several more. His gaze became increasingly steely as he began to glare at her.
“Do you have any idea what your death did to me?” He raged. “How was I supposed to continue on without you? What conceivable reason would I have to carry on? I had built empire after empire out of nothing and there was no meaning to any of it without you!”
“You sanctimonious bastard!” Mercy exclaimed, “How dare you think it was any easier for me!”
RISING STARR
Mary Marvel studied the two clones as they began to learn to use the satellite systems. Both girls began to explore the capabilities that Project Infinity provided, but Lexie, the blonde and older of the two, seemed to focus on what she saw as an error in the functioning of one of the satellite programs., “Easy enough,” Lexie commented to Mary Marvel while she attacked the computer program. “All we have to do is to add a little more code, here.” Lexie made her change, activating the simulation that they had been working on. “There we go!”
As the simulation ran, the brunette Alexis stepped over to watch.
“And Lexie shows another machine who is boss!” Alexis commented mischievously. “No machine dares to defy Lexie—that’s where her powers are the strongest.”
“Really?” Mary prodded.
“Alexis does not seem to have the same powers I do,” Lexie admitted, focused on the task in front of her, “my powers seem to include tactile telekinesis and an ability to interface easily with technology.” She turned back to the screen. “Hmm, this satellite uses too much energy. Here’s how you can save a lot more of it with no impact. I suggest…”
Alexis watched as Lexie and Mary discussed the technical power issue. Impressed, Mary had contacted an expert, who would soon arrive.
Sensing that she was no longer a part of the conversation, Alexis withdrew, stepping out into the corridor. She gazed down the corridor, but an unexpected flood of images forced her to close her eyes and count to ten before opening them again.
Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself before walking down the corridor. She stopped suddenly as the images threatened to return, making a tentative footfall before continuing her journey. Finally, she made her way to the observation deck, finding a quiet corner, closing her eyes and covering her ears.
RISING STARR
“Elle, I need you to see something,” Ellen heard Mayday Parker’s voice over her comms. “I’m watching Alexis Graves; I’m really worried. Here, take a look at this.” Ellen accepted Mayday’s monitor feed. “She’s been like that for the last five minutes,” May added.
Recognizing the observation deck, Ellen fired her X-Ray and telescopic vision towards the young clone.
“They’ve been on that mystic island for so long,” Ellen commented as she exited her quarters, taking to flight through the facility. “No wonder she feels so overwhelmed.” Ellen flew down an open elevator shaft. “Thanks for the call, Mayday. I can help her.”
“What’s going on?”
“Sensory overload: I have to get her out of here.”
The Fortress of Solitude
“…I am so sorry…I didn’t mean to…” Alexis protested as Ellen sat with her in the Fortress kitchen. “It’s just so much…so overwhelming.”
“Of course it is,” Ellen reassured her, reaching out to touch the younger woman.
“Don’t want to touch…might break…” Alexis protested again. “…not nearly as good at control as Lexie.”
Ellen reached out to Alexis, holding on to the younger woman’s hand.
“You can’t hurt me,” Ellen exclaimed. “It’s all right, squeeze my hand.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” terror crossed Alexis’s features.
Ellen squeezed Alexis’s hand, adding tension to the grip.
Relief crossed Alexis’s expression as she held Ellen’s hands, squeezing back.
“I’m not hurting you!” Alexis chirped, happy until she suddenly squeezed her eyes shut again.
“Alexis, I want you to focus on my voice and nothing else…can you do that?”
“I can try…I can try…”
RISING STARR
“What’s happened to me?” Alexis asked Ellen, while she struggled to master her senses. “I’ve never had these problems before.”
“This is probably the first real dose of unfiltered yellow sunlight you’ve ever had,” Ellen explained. “Lex Luthor’s lab was shielded, as was the island. As you’re soaking up the sunlight, your powers are manifesting with a vengeance.”
“Powers?” Alexis pressed, “Mama said I was always a little more resilient, but Lexie had all the clone powers.”
“That simply isn’t true,” Ellen could not suppress a grin as Alexis began to float out of her chair. She could feel Alexis’s tightening grip as the young woman struggled to reseat herself in her chair. Ellen felt the air around her hands warm up at Alexis unintentionally fired at it with heat vision.
“Ahhh…I’m a monster!” Alexis cried with frustration. “I can’t be trusted around people any more…I’ll hurt them and I don’t want to. What’s to become of me? I’ll have to go somewhere where I can’t hurt anyone anymore.”
“Alexis,” Ellen spoke reassuringly, “you’ll get the hang of this, I promise. If you’ll come with me to the Fortress gym, I’ll show you how.”
“Really?”
Alexis squeaked.
RISING STARR
“...wanted to check in with you,” Ellen spoke through her comms to Mayday Parker as Alexis sipped a cup of tea in the Fortress kitchen. “How is Lexie doing?”
“Just fine,” Mayday responded with distraction. “She’s busily telling us how to rewire the satellite. Lex is conversing with her about her designs. So nothing out of the ordinary. No power spikes or anything. How is Alexis?”
“Hungry!” Alexis chirped as a microwave beeped in the background. She stepped towards it, opening it without causing damage. “My favorite! Beef Bourguignon with Ketchup!” She happily tore into her meal.
Ellen stepped away from Alexis, leaving the younger woman to enjoy her dinner.
“May, the poor girl has been so frustrated. She’s been forced to instantly adapt to circumstances that would break most people. She’s down, she’s up, sometimes she’s a real mess…but other times I can see a spark of who she’s going to be.”
“I hope she has more empathy than Lexie,” Mayday exclaimed. “Brilliant girl, but she’s not much in the personality department.”
“I have to admit that I’ve had a good time with Alexis.” Ellen gazed back towards the young woman. “I just hope she can adapt to her new world.”
The Parker family Apartment—Clinton St, Metropolis
“…not really,” Ellen sat on a couch next to Mary Jane Parker’s chair. Out of Brandy’s costume, Ellen Starr preferred the company of her few intimates to discuss the issues of the day. And Mary Jane Parker knew well how to listen to concerns about the near impossible. “I’ve been spending a lot of time with one of the Lexettes. Now that they are free of the Island, their powers are manifesting in full. The younger girl, Alexis has faced far more of a challenge controlling her powers, so I’ve dedicated more time to her. Mary has been working with Lexie, whose powers have been much less problematic.”
“This all must be a rude shock to Lex Luthor,” Mary Jane nudged, “finding your ex and missing children alive and well…not to mention that Mercy looks as good as the day he met her. I need to find the fairy godmother the two of you share, and find a way to impress her.”
“You’ve certainly impressed the rest of us,” Ellen assured to Mary Jane’s smile.
“Tell me more about the Lexettes,” Mary Jane prodded, dodging the compliment.
“Lexie, the blonde, is the elder of the two,” Ellen explained. “She appears to be the more assertive of the two, curious about almost everything technical. There isn’t a computer in existence that is safe from her and her unique capabilities. Alexis, the brunette, is more of a cipher. She strongly resembles a computer simulation of Lanie Kent at maturity. Lex swears up and down that the clones are both computer generated. But Alexis should also be a blonde…among other things. What is really bizarre is that Alexis was flagged as non-viable…only Mercy’s intuition kept the lab from pulling the plug on her. And her DNA doesn’t match the DNA she’s supposed to have…it most closely matches mine.”
Mary Jane’s eyebrows rose.
“You’re saying her power levels could be extreme.”
“It’s possible,” Ellen replied. “Fortunately, I think she is going to grow into them, if we can buy her the time.” She nodded, smiling at Mary Jane. “Mercy Graves gets my vote for dead-on instincts. The universe played a trick on us that worked out in our favor. That doesn’t happen too often.”
Mary Jane shook her head.
“Sometimes it seems that this reality is nothing more than a bad joke,” she admitted, standing. “It’s nice to know that someone caught a break. I’m still having problems imagining Lex Luthor as a dotting Dad, but two super-powered daughters might just force him to do the job.”
“A bad joke gone wrong,” Ellen mused, as she felt a sense of déjà vu, “a practical joke that could not be set right.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Mary Jane shrugged.
“I wonder…” Ellen’s eyes widened as realization struck her hard. “I just wonder…what if that’s exactly what this reality is?”
The Superman Family Museum, Metropolis
Ellen Starr stepped in to the Superman Family museum. After hours, she would have the place to herself—a quick request of LexCorp had emptied the building of everyone, including security. She stepped into the ladies room, pulling out a comb with a very specific purpose; it would change the appearance of the color of her hair. A neat tool, it disguised her natural light reddish hair color on demand. This time, she combed her hair a reddish black, using a smaller comb for her eyebrows and lashes.
At the same time, she reconfigured her face slightly. She willed it to her first natural appearance, ordering her body to make similar slight changes. Pulling on the dress, shoes, and accessories she had selected, she stepped towards the room with the display of the wedding of Clark Kent and Lois Lane. She sat on the front bench of two, gazing at the picture of the happy couple. Most of the people in the picture, Ellen recognized.
She stepped up towards the display. Her reflection in the glass provided an exact mirror image of the bride’s face. Anyone stepping into the room would have no doubt that Lois Lane had returned from the dead, which was Ellen’s exact intention.
“When I was first married to my Clark Kent,” she intoned to the empty room, “I had no idea that he was Superman and neither did he. But when I realized what I had done, I found a way to restore his memory. As he returned to his rightful role as Superman, I prepared to leave him; I had married him under what I believed to be false pretenses and I would set him free to be who he really was: the Superman the world needed.”
She stepped towards another picture: the maid of honor, Lucy Lane, who did not strongly resemble Lucille Thompkins, her own sister.
“I had spent so much time in our early days trying to trap Superman, to expose him, to do things for my own gain. But during our courtship, I had come to learn that Clark Kent was worthy of everything I had to give.”
Ellen smiled at her memories.
“Even after his memories returned, he would not let me leave. Lois Lane, the ambitious news hen had found someone who knew she loved him. But I wasn’t the only one who loved him.”
Metropolis, Earth-2 decades before the Crisis on Infinite Earths, the Daily Planet
Lois Lane Kent banged on the typewriter, churning out another front-page scoop. Another crime boss Clark and Lois Kent had been pursuing had met his end, fleeing from Superman.
Lois regretted the loss of life, as had Clark, but the story still needed to be told. Sometimes she wondered if she was doing the right thing, but she felt the world needed to know and so she would tell them the truth.
Then a sudden silence descended over the news room. She gazed up to see that no one else in the room was moving. Mxyztplk, the magical imp, floated in front of her desk, a chastened expression on his face. There was no malice in his eyes, no intent, only an expression of resignation. She suppressed her sense of panic, instead focusing on him. Sensing that he was in pain on some level, she reached out to him, touching him on his glove.
“Are you all right?” He seemed surprised by her concern.
“No,” he admitted. “I’ve lost. I can see that now. Love is a lot more than playing pranks on someone, hoping that they’ll notice you. I see how he watches after you and how you watch after him. I see how you care for each other.”
“That’s what love is, Myxy.” Lois explained, the truth of the imp’s attraction to Superman finally becoming crystal clear. In the early 1950s, homosexuality was against the law in the United States, but Lois had always suspected sexual preference couldn’t be legislated. Clark was an attractive being from an alien world; why wouldn’t the imp be attracted to him?
She now realized that the imp had used all the attention-getting tricks he knew to obtain Superman’s attention. The spells were outlandish, causing all sorts of mischief. But while people were frequently embarrassed by his spells, few were ever physically hurt and his spells cleaned up after themselves when he was banished: the rules of the game. So neat, so tidy.
“We both competed for his attentions,” Mxyztplk protested, “but you cheated. You changed. And when he needed you the most, you were there, putting his needs first. And you were willing to walk away from everything for the sake of his happiness. How was I supposed to compete with that?”
Lois choked back her instinct to laugh. The imp was in real pain and she could see that.
“You don’t,” she answered earnestly. “You take the lessons you learn and try again the next time, with someone who cares for you, too. Superman didn’t love either of us…we were not much more than pests who were in it for ourselves. Neither one of us truly impressed Superman…how could we? He isn’t real…he’s just a role Clark Kent plays.”
“And you won because you stopped playing the wrong game,” Mxyztplk nodded, a slight smile on his lips. “You earned the love of the man, for all the right reasons. You are wiser than you were before.” He turned to walk away. “You know, I thought I could find a reason to hate you, to turn you into a rabbit or some such and let you hop away into the woods while Supes tried to find you. But you’ve changed and it’s just not the same.”
“It’s called growing up,” Lois admitted, “it’s a new concept for me, too.”
He seemed to get just a bit smaller, receding away.
“You haven’t seen the last of me, Mrs. Kent,” he promised. “After all, I wouldn’t want him to get too comfortable.”
“No,” she laughed, “I suppose not.”
“Be well, Mrs. Kent.”
“Follow your heart, Myxy,” she replied, “I hope you find that someone who brings you joy.”
He nodded once more, before vanishing. The newsroom exploded with life, as time resumed. Had it all been a dream? No, she had moved from where the conversation began, now far away from the typewriter.
The Superman Family Museum, Metropolis
“One of my odder friendships,” Ellen added, speaking to the air. “He stopped by to see me occasionally, usually before bedeviling Clark. But I’m pleased to report he did meet that special someone. They were very good for each other…I actually participated in the wedding. Clark never got over the fact that the invitation was addressed to ‘Mrs. Lois Kent and (optional) guest’.”
She walked out of the room, stepping towards the room that displayed footage of the death of Superman and his family.
“This world has no memory of you, but that doesn’t mean you don’t exist,” Ellen entered the room. “I know that you are at the bottom of everything that has happened: a practical joke that went horribly wrong. I knew your counterpart as Mxyztplk, but you would probably be Mxyzptlk.”
She stepped back, leaning against a railing.
“I’m here to help, Myxy. But I can’t help if you won’t let me. I can’t help set things right if I don’t know what caused them to go wrong.”
As her words completed, Mxyzptlk phased into being just in front of her. At least, she hoped it was him. Always skinny, the imp appeared near death from starvation. His skin was a grimy ashen grey. His expression was gaunt, fearful, hopeless, and full of grief.
“Help me?” He croaked. “I am beyond help. So many have died because of me. My anger, my over-exaggerated sense of entitlement doomed so many. And now it will doom everyone in this universe and its incomplete derivative probabilities. I’ve already killed them all!”
“Work with me, Myxy,” Ellen approached him, “maybe we can’t fix everything, but maybe we can keep things from getting worse.”
“You don’t understand,” the imp exclaimed, “I can’t fix everything without killing her.”
“Her?”
“Lanie…Lanie Kent.”
The Fortress of Solitude
Ellen had changed from Lois to Brandy, taking the imp into the Fortress. Trying her best not to appear threatening, she brought him into the Fortress kitchen, preparing hot tea and a warm meal. She doubted it met his needs for sustenance, but he appeared more relaxed, hungrily consuming everything she put in front of him. His color was less ashen, but he remained troubled.
“I had been banished to my home dimension after a particularly choice romp,” the imp explained. “No one was killed, although I embarrassed more people than I could count.” The hints of merriment flashed across his features, but quickly extinguished. “But my home dimension and this universe fell out of alignment…time sped ahead by years on Earth. When my ninety days was up, I returned to find years had passed on Earth and my beautiful darling had married THAT woman.” His attempt at rage was quickly overwhelmed by his exhaustion. “I took my first round of revenge, turning them both into kangaroos. But that only served to get her pregnant. I eventually bored of watching them and exiled myself to my home dimension. They reverted to their natural states, left with the task of doing everything they could to keep the fetus from killing Lois.”
“A natural birth?” Ellen asked. “Conception should have been impossible without help.”
“My power doesn’t kill,” the imp replied, “any deaths or injuries I cause are immediately undone when I leave this dimension.”
“So Lanie had to be transformed to a viable fetus when you left. Interesting.” She sighed. “It’s a shame she didn’t survive the Zoners in this world.”
“No,” the imp admitted, “she only survived in one of the incomplete probabilities. But she did survive there and I intend to keep it that way.” He spoke with a determination she had not heard before. “It’s the last thing I can do for him…I’ve tried and failed at so many others.”
Ellen gazed at him, realizing that his misadventures had likely caused the deaths and unexpected creations of trillions, all of it because of his petty jealousy and his feelings of having been spurned by a being who never saw him for what he was…a suitor pursuing someone who could never love him.
“I cannot begin to know what you think of me,” Mxyzptlk gazed at her, pouring himself another cup of tea. “I find this conversation more than a bit ironic; I never thought I would be sharing a table with Lois Lane Kent, grateful for the company.” He sighed, “but in all this time, you are the only person who has ever figured out what happened. I wonder how you can even stand my presence."
She considered her words carefully, pouring more tea for herself before answering.
“My responsibility is the survival of the cosmos,” she answered. “I do not believe you to be evil, or even dishonest. I do believe that you have made some poor choices, which resulted in the deaths of far too many. But, for the moment at least, we share the same goals and I do not believe either of us will be successful alone.”
“No,” he admitted with frustration, staring at his cup. “As you already know, the other probabilities spawned from this one. Both are missing things that remain only in this probability. Had the timeline remained stable, this probability would have the single, complete, authoritative history. But, in trying to repair what I have set wrong, I have recast history to the point where all three realities are crumbling. And I don’t know how to set them right.”
“What happened, Myxy?”
“I…”
The original MVP universe—MVP Prime--above the Fortress of Solitude
“…and now you’ve had a child with that woman?” Mxyzptlk fumed as he floated above the Fortress. Superman and his family, along with Lucy Lane, remained inside as the three adults doted on Lanie.
The imp gazed at the holstered gun he carried. An odd device that he had acquired during his most recent exile, he pulled it out of his holster.
“This will be so deliciously fun!” He chortled. “I’ll let out a couple of Phantom Zone prisoners and then I’ll duplicate this probability, so I can watch two different versions of you screw this up! Then I’ll put the realities back together and watch you try to figure out which set of memories is real!”
He watched as Superman and Lois traveled to a different part of the fortress, far away from Lucy and Lanie. They settled in front of the Phantom Zone projector, using it to open a conversation with Lar Gand of Daxam, who had been placed in the zone after he suffered accidental lead poisoning. They chatted with Lar, hearing his perspectives on the events of the day, while ignoring the comments from the other denizens of the Zone.
“This is too easy!” The imp crowed. He materialized in front of the startled Superman and Lois, jamming the release button of the Phantom Zone projector. Realizing the portal to freedom had opened, the Phantom Zone prisoners charged Superman and Lois at super-speed, killing them before the startled imp could react. Forced out of the zone, Lar Gand screamed in such agony that the imp dropped his gun in shock.
“This isn’t supposed to happen,” Mxyzptlk muttered as he stepped back.
“It’s not?” Jax-Ur picked up the weapon that the imp had dropped. Mxyzptlk muttered, “Kltpzyxm” at the same instant Jax-Ur picked up the weapon. The imp could feel reality shudder as his magic teleported him away. But as he teleported, nothing changed, leaving the Zoners in charge of the Fortress, Superman and Lois dead, and Lar Gand screaming ever louder. He faded from the probability as the Zoners began to drag Lar Gand out of the room.
MVP-3, Fortress of Solitude kitchen
“I spoke my name backwards because I thought it would undo everything,” the imp explained to Ellen. “It would restore Superman to life and place the prisoners back in the zone. But I had used no magic, cast no spell, so there was no spell to undo. I had killed my beautiful Superman through my stupidity.”
Ellen’s anger surged. The waste, the devastation that had been caused in the name of a prank appalled her. It had killed another version of her. She fought her desire to slap the elf, to show her displeasure.
At that moment, she understood the burden that Kal-L had always borne. She could easily kill the imp. No force in the universe could stop the combination of her speed and still-growing power. The imp seemed to sense her inner struggle, shrinking away, but not sure that he should. She would at least end his pain quickly. Maybe that had been why he had told her the truth.
But he could sense her force of will, her sense of self choking back her emotions. She stood, facing away from him, not daring to look at him.
“What was the weapon?” She demanded. “The Probability Device? Did it malfunction?”
“No,” Mxyzptlk replied. “It had never been properly set.” He gazed at her. “I learned of it from my people’s archives. Even they knew little of it. It was a powerful artifact floating in the Bleed.”
“And just what is the ‘Bleed?’” Ellen pressed for an explanation.
“The Bleed.” The Imp told her. “No one, not even my people, understand it fully. It is that nebulous area of pure energy that flows around and between the many Continuverses within the Continuum. My people theorized that the Bleed might have once been a material universe that was some how transformed into pure energy. They even postulated that the predecessors of all of the Starhearts within the Continuum have their origins in the Bleed. But, if my people are correct, then this Probability Device is the only solid artifact that remains of a race of people that inhabited the original universe.”
“So you secured that Device and used it here, without knowing for certain what it would do?” Ellen felt her temper flare once more, but immediately forced herself to stay in control.
“I wish I had not been so stupid, but I was. The information I had from the archives of my people was full of theories about it. Theories, but no real evidence. But I didn’t care. I wanted to play my games.” The Imp slumped, hiding his face in his hands. “One of the more simple functions was supposed to split a probability in two and put it back together. Even with the sketchy theories, it looked straightforward. All I had to do was set the Device for a single split and trigger it. But as I no longer possessed it, I never set it to operate properly when the time came.”
“What happened next?” Ellen asked, her anger beginning to subside.
“I spent the next ninety days in my home dimension, frantic to help,” Mxyzptlk explained. “In the mean-time, the Zoners ravaged Earth, destroying the Justice League and killing Hal Jordan, the Sentinel of the Starheart. Even Paradise Island, with all those Amazons, lasted only a few minutes. The entire Batman family was eventually destroyed; Bruce and Selina Wayne and their son and daughter, as well as Alfred and Robin. The only bright spot was Lucy Lane. When she heard the commotion in the Fortress, she used an emergency code on the transporter. It transported her and Lanie out of the Fortress and left a bogus destination location for the Zoners to find. She eluded them for almost three months…almost completely. But in the meantime, the Zoners ripped up not only Earth, but much of the Galaxy.”
“And then?”
“On day eighty-nine, they found Lucy and Lanie,” he shook his head sadly, “making examples of them for one and all to see.”
“And on day ninety?”
“I had two tasks in front of me: retrieving the probability device and returning the Zoners to the Zone,” he replied.
MVP-Prime, Jax-Ur’s quarters
Mxyzptlk focused on finding the Probability Device. He had been fortunate that Jax-Ur had taken it, but had not bothered to use it. The imp materialized next to the device, lifting it up and inspecting it.
“So what does it do, imp?” Jax-Ur’s voice rang out. Mxyzptlk realized immediately that the Device had been alarmed to notify Jax-Ur when the imp attempted to reclaim it. Jax-Ur had known he would return, and had even known when. At super speed, Jax-Ur liberated the Device from the imp’s hands.
“I can’t tell you that,” Mxyzptlk countered. “This is dangerous beyond even your wildest dreams. It could destroy all reality. You have to let me reset it and return it to where it belongs before that happens.”
“I don’t believe you, imp,” Jax-Ur pressed the trigger.
MVP-3, Fortress of Solitude kitchen
“There was no way to know what would happen, but we saw the results!” Mxyzptlk explained. “MVP-Prime changed, becoming the original MVP-3, while the probabilities of MVP-1 and MVP-2 spun off from it. But the spin-offs were not complete. Some elements were not duplicated, including any survivor of the phantom zone and any member of the Sinestro Corps.”
“What happened to the Phantom Zone projector?” Ellen pressed. “I didn’t find it in the Fortress.”
“Jax-Ur destroyed it,” the imp explained, “right after triggering the Probability Device. He realized I had been right about the Device and had to take his anger out on something.”
“That explains a lot,” Ellen sighed. “How stable are the probabilities? Are they in danger of being drawn back together?”
“I think they are slowly being pulled back together,” Mxyzptlk admitted, “and when that happens, all three universes will be destroyed. I’ve tried to fix things, but I fear I’ve only accelerated the collapse. All three probabilities now have unstable future timelines; this one now has a completely corrupted past.”
“You’ve been firing the Device?” Ellen’s eyebrows rose.
“When Jax-Ur originally triggered the Device,” he explained, “the two other probabilities were reflections of the original timeline, with memories of that timeline. But they had chronal differences; very slight changes from the base timeline. The most important change was in MVP-2; it lost two months of chronal energy. Lucy Lane survived long enough to pass Lanie Kent on to Hal Jordan’s successor as Sentinel. Other chronal differences occurred in MVP-2: the Batman’s ward and daughter survived the onslaught. That occurred nowhere else.”
He conjured an image of the MVP-2 Lanie Kent, watching as she flew through the sky as Power Girl.
“I believe I could have used the Probability Device to reboot everything into a single stable probability. But not as long as she lives. It’s the last thing I can do for Superman. But I am also afraid that, so long as that Device is within the Multiverse, it will be a danger! It began to seep a strange energy when Jax-Ur triggered it and that energy discharge has not stopped. But I have no idea why!”
“Why not take Lanie and the other MVP-2 survivors to your home dimension and reboot the probabilities? You could then dispose of the Device in the Bleed?” Ellen asked, while wondering if he had lost the ability to go home to Zrfff.
He stood up, allowing the hologram of Lanie Kent to vanish.
“I have almost none of my power,” the imp admitted. “When the probabilities split, the cosmic energy of the Starheart remained in MVP-1 and MVP-2. My energy formed the new yellow-energy Starheart. It’s not friendly; it’s been sponsoring the Yellow Lantern Corps and its successors since its creation. That would be bad enough. But each time I tried a limited firing of the Device, I increased its power. Now, of course, even the Guardians are its subjects. The Green Lantern Corps and the Yellow Lantern Corps have been replaced by Manhunters and their yellow energy.”
“But you were somewhat successful,” Ellen commented. “The Batman lives in this probability and the side-effect of depowering native Kryptonians prevented them from dominating worlds other than Earth.”
“The rest of the universe might not agree,” the imp argued. “They wound up losing the Green Lantern Corps in favor of the Manhunters. The Darkstars make a poor replacement; they have much less power.”
Ellen stood up, flying over to a monitor. He flew after her, watching as she called up computer programs to track time displacements. She punched in a search term ‘Kandor’, recalling the history of the destroyed bottle city. She then entered the search term ‘Brainiac’, watching the imp as she typed.
“He exists here, even if he has never been to this version of Earth,” Mxyzptlk admitted haltingly. “He may have the Device by now, I don’t know.”
“You don’t have it?” Ellen asked with concern.
“The last time I triggered the Device,” the imp explained, “he was seconds from claiming it from me. Triggering the Device changed the timeline enough that he was no longer an immediate threat. But if he prepared, he could have found a way to transmit knowledge of what it did to his successor self.” Mxyzptlk held his head in his hands. “The last time I triggered the Device, it vanished. I have no idea where it went. I will tell you how to find it, by searching for those strange energy signatures. I would aid your efforts, but I no longer have the power to chase it, as I once did.”
Great, Ellen considered. I can’t fix this on my own.
RISING STARR
“I know this all sounds absurd,” Ellen stood in front of a hologram of the three collapsing probabilities. The Batman, Lex Luthor, Dr. Strangefate, and the senior Darkstar, Kreon, listened intently as she explained what she knew. “We have several problems. We have to find a way to stabilize the three probabilities without forcing a reboot and we have to find and permanently dispose of the Probability Device.”
“What about the imp?” Bruce asked coldly.
“I haven’t caught him in a lie,” Ellen replied. “That said, I suspect he hasn’t told me everything. I suspect that once the probabilities are stabilized he might be able to get home and repower. But even if he does, I don’t think he would ever return to his former modus operandi.”
“I would confirm that,” Charles Xavier nodded his golden helm. “He will be judged by his peoples, not us.”
“I will brief the Controllers,” Kreon sighed as he gazed at the Holograms. “They will likely provide any expertise we request. I would not suggest notifying the Guardians.”
“When the time comes,” Ellen emphasized, “we may have to contact the Starheart directly. Of course, it may already know everything that has been said.”
“As its survival is at stake,” Lex nodded as he considered the implications, “we may be able to sway it. But first we have to develop a plan worthy of its attention.”
“We likely still have some time before everything goes critical,” Ellen surmised, “we better make use of it.”
RISING STARR
“Your mother says that I am a lousy father,” Lex Luthor stepped into the quarters that had been provided to Alexis. He tried to appear relaxed, smiling, but felt awkward nonetheless. “I have been spending too much time with Lexie and not enough with you.”
“Lexie is smarter than I am,” Alexis admitted. “I get computer stuff, but she lives for it. But that’s Ok, I’m glad you have something in common.”
Lex regarded the young woman, not sure what to say next. Charitably, she broke the silence.
“I’m making friends here,” Alexis enthused. “People want to help me, to work with me! I’ve even been to the Fortress of Solitude! I’m learning how to make my powers work without hurting anyone! And I’m going to get to see another world later today! Me! I never thought such things could happen for me!”
“That is delightful to hear,” Lex stumbled.
“I’m sorry,” she reacted to his discomfort, “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I’m really glad you are here. I’ve wanted to talk to you and you’ve made time for me and I really, really want…”
RISING STARR
Lex located Mercy in what had been the Lex Corp cloning facility. She had cleaned the room where Lex Jr. had been killed and her own ‘demise’ had taken place. He found her gazing at the machinery they had used to develop the clones.
But before he spoke to her, he closed his eyes to remember his son.
“We could recreate him, I suppose,” Mercy prompted. “We might even be able to restore his memory.”
“No,” Lex replied. “For all the reasons you wouldn’t want to, either.”
“Yes,” she nodded in agreement, as they both remembered the young clone, their only viable son.
Finally, Lex walked over to the cloning tank where Alexis had been created. He touched the tank, before turning to gaze at Mercy.
“You didn’t tell me who Alexis is,” Lex commented. “I wish you had.”
“Her powers?” Mercy replied, “I didn’t know.”
“No, not her powers,” Lex responded.
“Lex,” Mercy stepped away from the machines, “I struggle with her, too. I have to make an effort with her. She really is not a warrior; she doesn’t have the focus that Lexie does. But different isn’t wrong.”
“No, it’s not.” Lex admitted, gazing away before turning back to her. “It’s just really, really hard.”
“That sounds like something she would say about dealing with us.”
RISING STARR
Ellen stepped into the Fortress of Solitude kitchen, whipping up a fresh batch of cookies and boiling tea. As she expected, Mxyzptlk appeared, a hopeful expression on his face. She placed a tray of cookies in front of him, watching him gobble hungrily.
“Neither of the clones has the DNA they are supposed to,” Ellen prodded the imp. “Know anything about Lexie?”
“Nope,” the imp reacted with concern. “I had nothing to do with her.”
“You didn’t use magic on Alexis, did you?” Ellen prodded.
“No,” the imp protested.
“I won’t ask where you got the DNA,” Ellen stated, taking a cookie. “I just have to make sure she won’t become undone.”
“She won’t.”
“She isn’t a Lanie clone, is she?”
“Not exactly,” the imp grinned. “No more than you are.” He grabbed the last of the cookies off the tray. “Thanks for the cookies, Ms. Kent.” The imp vanished.
Three weeks later, Project Infinity satellite, the Batman’s work room
“Batman, we have a problem,” Ricky Grayson interrupted Bruce Wayne’s concentration as the younger man stepped into the Batman’s private command center. “We have a nuclear submarine that is cracking up under water. And when the ship’s computer floods, it will launch nuclear warheads.”
“And Ellen’s off planet,” Bruce grumbled. “I’ll have to work with what I’ve got. And what I’ve got is the Marvels and the Lexettes.”
RISING STARR
“Here’s the situation,” Bruce explained to the Marvels and the Lexettes. “We need to do anything we can to interface with the sub’s computers,” he gazed at Lexie. “Anything you can do, helps. We’ll boost your signal from here, so you can try to contact the computer. Let us know if you succeed—you’ll have to find a way to force it to abort its current programming.”
“All right,” Lexie assured. “I can do that.” She walked out of the room, back to her quarters, to access the satellite systems.
“Marvels, I need you to chase down any missiles that launch. You might not get any warning.”
“We can do that,” Billy assured as Mary nodded.
Bruce turned to Alexis.
“Alexis, you have the tough job. We need you to go down and stabilize the sub, if it’s at all possible. You should be able to weld a seam to keep more water from seeping through the side. If you do that quickly enough, you should be able to surface the sub and the crew should be able to pump the rest of the water out, eliminating the problem.”
“I’ll do my best,” she promised.
“You’ll have to,” Bruce growled. “There isn’t anyone else.”
RISING STARR
Leaving the Marvels behind, Alexis dove under the water, targeting the submarine as she charged towards it. Signs of life? Not that I can see. This radiation is too thick…I’ll have to burn my clothes after this. She charged towards the sub, slicing through the water with no effort. She considered that she could have brought an oxygen mask to speak with the satellite, but the comms would not have worked through the extreme depth of the water. She could tell it was much farther down than they had expected. She doubted that Lexie’s signal could have gotten through, even with a signal boost.
As she neared the vessel, Alexis realized that the damage to the ship was far more extreme than they had been led to believe. The radiated corpses that had once been the crew sickened her. She quickly realized that if the computers had not been flooded, they soon would be. That left her with one alternative. She fired her heat vision.
RISING STARR
“What is she doing?” Bruce questioned as his monitor displayed the image of the broken submarine speeding through the atmosphere. The sub was out of sight almost as soon as he saw it. Fifteen seconds later, satellite sensors tracked an intense nuclear explosion in space. The console estimated ground zero somewhere beyond the moon’s orbit. Anything orbiting between the explosion and the upper atmosphere would have been fried. Fortunately, nothing important had been in the vicinity.
Had Alexis survived the explosion? Her comms device reported that she had. But why had she taken such a risk?
RISING STARR
Bruce examined the console logs. Just what had happened? Had Lexie been able to initiate any kind of contact with the sub? The communications logs seemed strangely sterile, but that meant nothing. The Marvels had seen nothing. Only Alexis would know what truly happened.
He hoped he could deal with the answer. The girl was extremely powerful. She couldn’t be dismissed from Project Infinity, nor really punished. What had she seen and why had she reacted the way she had?
RISING STARR
“The crew was already dead before I got there,” Alexis explained as they played back the camera from her monitoring device. Bruce manipulated the controls as he, the Marvels, and Lexie watched.
“They…” she grimaced before continuing, “I had never seen anything like it…I could barely tell they had been human.” She shook her head, forcing herself to continue. “The seam was split wide open. You can see it, there.” The projector showed the remains of lumps of flesh that had once been human. Then it showed the effects of the heat vision as she pressed the two halves of the sub together, beginning to weld it shut. Suddenly, the camera faced the firing tubes—heat vision began to burn them closed. “The computer had already failed; the missiles were beginning to fire. While the computer itself was sealed off from the hull breach, the system had already begun to shut down. So I did the only thing I could do.”
She drew a deep breath as the camera angle showed the melting firing tubes.
“I welded the firing tubes closed. I estimated that I had thirty seconds to get the sub out of the atmosphere and I wasn’t going to lose a single one of them.” The camera showed ice forming on the outside of the sub as it exited the water and rose through the atmosphere. “I chilled the sub to keep it from burning up as we left the atmosphere. Then I gave it a shove and let it go.” The camera image went black. “The explosion shredded my suit; I had to get another one before I reported in.”
Bruce glared at the screen, deep in thought, before nodding.
“Excellent work today, team. Even if we didn’t save the crew, we saved lives out there.”
As the Marvels and the Lexettes began to leave, Bruce spoke once more. “Alexis, Hold on. I need to swap out your comms badge.”
“All right,” she stepped back to hand her badge to him as he handed her another.
“This one should be a little more ruggedized,” Bruce commented, “just in case. You pushed your old one to its limits.”
“Thank you,” she gazed at him with a questioning expression.
“Presence of mind under extreme stress is a valuable commodity in a superhero, Ms. Graves,” Bruce commented dryly. “While you still have a lot to learn, you certainly proved yourself today. I am waiving the remainder of your probationary period and adding you to the active duty roster. Congratulations.”
Alexis reacted with obvious surprise, but quickly recovered.
“Thank you for your confidence in me,” she replied graciously, before exiting.
RISING STARR
Curiouser and curiouser, Bruce autopsied Alexis’s comms gear. What had it really seen? And what had caused the ship’s computer to shut down? And why did Alexis’s badge have such unusual coding in the parts of its memory that should have been blank?
Bruce commanded his monitoring system to track the Lexettes. Successful mission or no, something about the two of them bothered him…something he should remember, but what? Why were there so many comms signal discrepancies? And what did they mean?
End—A Killing Joke